Chuck vs A Moment in Time
by FoundAgain
Summary: Spoilers for Chuck Versus the Suburbs. Chuck's thoughts as he protects Sarah from Fulcrum's intersect... and his revelation from that moment. Charah.
1. Chuck

**A/N: Hey, this is short, and it's based on a scene from Chuck Versus the Suburbs. It's actually one of my favorites. Ok there's a lot. Enjoy this. I will probably post another one from Sarah's point of view later. And maybe one from a special guest if you're lucky... Oh, and I wrote this at like 2 in the morning... that is a lie. It is currently 1:37. A.M. Still...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck.

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I knew when I entered our home, our home, for the first time that it would end with you taking it all back. The house, the pictures, the dog, the ring. Even the breakfast...

I knew it was another mission. I knew I would have to flash and you would do your awesome kick-ass ninja spy girl thing. Casey would do something brutish, and possibly use a really lame catch phrase. I knew I would be in danger, I knew you would worry. But, God, Sarah, I never thought I would be the one to put you in harm's way.

And I never thought I would save you from it.

Sure, Casey broke his thumbs. And triggered the images... But that's typical, he's an All-American Hero, even if he is a bit stuck in the past. And, yes, Fulcrum's version of the intersect did most of the ass-kicking, but I never knew, never had one iota of an idea, that it would be me telling you to close your eyes. To protect your mind from what mine had become.

To keep yours pure, intact, sane.

I saw your fear of me after I saw the images, and that hurt me. You were afraid I had become one of them. My mind had been fuzzy, I admit. But Sarah, from the moment I woke up in that room till when I got home that night, you were the only person on my mind. Whether you were Agent Walker or Sarah Carmichael. I agreed to have you placed in that chair Sarah. I can't forgive myself for that.

Then things cleared up as I looked into your eyes. You were scared for me, and a tiny bit for yourself I'm sure. If my brain couldn't handle it, yours wouldn't stand a chance. But when you closed your eyes, Sarah, I don't think you may have ever been so beautiful to me.

I closed my eyes with yours, as I held you close to my chest. Your face was buried in my neck. I had already seen the images before, but I knew, as I have always known, that I wouldn't be able to bare the sight of you being hurt. And that had been a strong possibility. What if closing your eyes wasn't enough? What if the images found their way to you anyway? I winced as I heard those screams, and I felt as you did too. I covered your ears, Sarah, to protect you from their pain. They deserved it, but you didn't. You didn't need to worry for them, to feel for them. They were going to do the same to you.

When you grabbed my hand I felt your wedding rings pressing into my palms. Ironic, isn't it, that I would be placing mine in yours later? Those rings were in a dream of mine. That dream where we have that simple suburban picket-fence life. 2.5 kids, a happy dog, real wedding photographs, and friendly neighbors...

Sarah, all the love I felt for you shone through in that one moment, back in the suburbs. It wasn't when you made me breakfast, or posed as my darling wife. It wasn't when you kissed me goodbye, and especially not when you slapped me (which, by the way, really did hurt). It was when you surrendered your life into my hands for one second. When you let me save you.

Sarah, I think it was then, that one moment in the suburbs, that I knew that you trusted me. You believed in me. In that moment, I knew that you loved me. God, in that moment, Sarah, I stopped knowing, and started to hope.


	2. Sarah

**A/N: Hello again, nightowls. I think I write at night because that is when I am most delirious. Hence, this blubber that hopefully you will soon read. **

**Disclaimer: Chuck is not my property.

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People are screaming all around me, around us. Just as I was moments before, calling out your name. I would like to share my thoughts, but I don't quite know what they are. From the second they finished testing you my mind has been blank. Chuck, you were blank. You, you were just like the rest of them. Your mind gone, your heart, your eyes...

And then you woke up. You woke up, Chuck, and my heart soared. You were fine, I was fine. The CIA was gone, those Fulcrum agents disappeared and it was just you and me. Me and you.

I guess you missed that moment, the one I was savoring, because just a few more moments later, you were denying me. Forgetting our relationship, our cover. Though it may not have been real, it was still our shield. A protector. Can't you see that by now? That this cover we have been holding on to wasn't necessarily shielding us from each other... most of the time. It allowed others to accept what we meant to each other. And yes, by others I mean Beckman, specifically.

You weren't missing this moment, though. Your hands were around my ears, your hair brushing against my cheek. I could smell the strong scent of your after-shave combined with the detergent from your clothes. I picked out that detergent. We, us, we together had lived in a house... lived a life... we were a family. Somehow this all means something more. I don't know what it is Chuck. I think we should figure it out together.

You told me to close my eyes. You're my hero in so many ways Chuck, just wait while I add this one to the list. You've saved me from myself. From the empty shell of a person I was becoming. You've saved me from Bryce, not that he's a bad guy, but you made me realize that he wasn't what was best. He couldn't love me the way you do. Now you're saving me from your fate. The fate of the intersect. You didn't have to. You could let me download those images, destroying my mind. You could have gone happily with Fulcrum. Who knows? Maybe they would treat you well... We'll make that a strong maybe, leaning heavily towards 'they wouldn't at all.'

I love the way you sacrifice yourself not for your country, but for those you love. Because that is what it's all about. I love the way that you reminded me of that. Country isn't honor. Country is the people you would die to protect. You protect the land because your people, my people, our people, live on it. You protect Ellie and Awesome and Morgen and Anna and Jeff and Lester and Me, I like to think. I do this for you, Chuck. I protect you so you can fight for them. Country isn't respecting Generals who frown too much. It's fighting for those who make you smile.

I love your curls, tickling my neck. I love your hands, pressing our wedding rings into each other. Our connection, a reminder. I love the way you ask me if I'm okay. The way your smile assures me that I'm absolutely fine. The way you free me from the chair, the way those sensors are still attached to your forehead...

I love the way I wanted to steal your smile with a kiss.

Somewhere along the way, maybe when you came into our home for the first time, or when we joke over breakfast, or even when you refused to be known as my husband, I realized that I Love You, Charles Irving Bartowski. I'd say don't you forget it, but well, you don't exactly know. So I tell you what, Chuck. I won't forget it, and maybe I'll let you remember too. Perhaps when my mind is a bit clearer.


End file.
